The Penguin Ruler

I was reading Clients from Hell when my mom asks me this...

Wed, 30 May 2012 23:55:56 +0200

Mom: Sarah, I can't find spotify, did Philip delete it?
Me: *looks at screen* He deleted it off his dock, yeah.
Mom:
Me:
Mom: Where is it then?
Me: ........It's in applications.
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Mom: Bookmarks?
Me: God, no, stop, just don't touch anything.

Please Tell Me Someone Else Has Made This Joke Already

Wed, 30 May 2012 20:24:31 +0200

xcgirl08:

THE ONLY ELEMENT ASAMI SATO BENDS…

…IS THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.

Friend: Hey, you want to go to the theme park with me on Monday?

Wed, 30 May 2012 16:04:45 +0200

Friend: Hey, you want to go to the theme park with me on Monday?
Me: Aw, I'd love to, but I need to save money.
Friend: But you're going to work all summer and then you're moving away!
Me: You're making me feel guilty. OKAY.

the common sense guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse:

Wed, 30 May 2012 12:32:38 +0200

gyzym:

So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:

IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:

RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…

Read More

I had so much fun reading this. I THINK I AM READY.

Saras: I have never exaggerated in my entire life.

Tue, 29 May 2012 12:40:23 +0200

Saras: I have never exaggerated in my entire life.
Me: *tears of laughter*
Saras: Okay maybe that was exaggerating a little bit.

Photo

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:26:00 +0200

Time for a wedding! (Taken with Instagram at Värmdö kyrka)

Sat, 26 May 2012 13:25:30 +0200

Time for a wedding! (Taken with Instagram at Värmdö kyrka)

On my way to a wedding with @philipsaville! (Taken with...

Sat, 26 May 2012 12:58:17 +0200

On my way to a wedding with @philipsaville! (Taken with instagram)

@philipsaville is the cutest (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 26 May 2012 12:56:57 +0200

@philipsaville is the cutest (Taken with instagram)

Handsome brother in his first suit. (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 26 May 2012 12:46:52 +0200

Handsome brother in his first suit. (Taken with instagram)

Accidentally bought four books while waiting for a friend after...

Fri, 25 May 2012 21:20:52 +0200

Accidentally bought four books while waiting for a friend after bonding with one of the employees over how difficult it is to resist buying books when one is waiting for someone. (Taken with instagram)

“You always look so cool. The man in the cool beautiful...

Fri, 25 May 2012 21:09:54 +0200

“You always look so cool. The man in the cool beautiful suits.”

Gatsby’s fancy pink suit better be in this one.

theoneandonlymemily: rosiebeck: This is the best video in...

Fri, 25 May 2012 10:17:16 +0200

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

theoneandonlymemily:

rosiebeck:

This is the best video in existence. Your argument is invalid.

i’ve reblogged this like 5 times in 24 hours. it just keeps showing up on my dashboard. and guess what? i honestly regret nothing.

This man. Gosh. Love him.

operationaltruth: WAIT WHAT REALLY? REALLY? No. Way.

Thu, 24 May 2012 22:55:48 +0200

operationaltruth:

WAIT

WHAT

REALLY?

REALLY?

No. Way.

Saras: When I move to Scotland I am doing to dump you.

Thu, 24 May 2012 22:04:35 +0200

Saras: When I move to Scotland I am doing to dump you.
Me: You can't dump me.
Saras: I am going to find a friend who doesn't play video games when she is talking to me and then I am going to bond the hell out of our friendship.

I finally received the cord for the Nintendo 64! Time to play...

Thu, 24 May 2012 13:32:45 +0200

I finally received the cord for the Nintendo 64! Time to play some Super Mario 64! (Taken with instagram)

Hair-cut day. (Taken with instagram)

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:18:02 +0200

Hair-cut day. (Taken with instagram)

weaponizedwit: I am burdened with glorious purpose. To say...

Tue, 22 May 2012 22:55:24 +0200

weaponizedwit:

I am burdened with glorious purpose.

To say thank you to my followers and to celebrate The Avengers’ success, I have decided to do a giveaway.

This is my bargain.

ONE medium sized box (approx 11” x 8.5” x 5.5”) full of Avengers/Marvel toys and merchandise.

How desperate are you?

You can reblog this post a MAXIMUM of THREE times. Likes also count.

Following me does not increase your chances of winning, so please don’t feel compelled to do so unless you just really enjoy an insane amount of Tom Hiddleston all over your dash.

Yes, I will ship anywhere in the world.

Please make sure your ask box is open so I can contact you if you win. I would hate to have to choose someone else.

Stalling won’t change anything.

You have ONE WEEK from today. The giveaway ends Saturday, 26 May.

In the end, it will be every man for himself…good luck.

I usually don’t reblog red-carpet photos, but holy moley,...

Tue, 22 May 2012 20:26:13 +0200

I usually don’t reblog red-carpet photos, but holy moley, this dress is amazing and Emma Stone is so pretty.

Sarah is losing her mind.

Tue, 22 May 2012 15:46:01 +0200

Sarah: Sometimes I just notice how booby my boobs are.
Sarah: Like..
Sarah: so much boob.
Ingvild: ...
Ingvild: what
Ingvild:: even'
Sarah: They're right there.
Sarah: Being booby.
Sarah: And I'm just....what are you doing, boobs?
Ingvild: I don't even know what is going on right now
Ingvild: You're describing your boobs
Ingvild: as booby...
Ingvild: You just made boob an adjective.
Ingvild: How does that even happen
Sarah: Boobs.
Ingvild: Only in Sarah land
Ingvild: Boobs are great and all
Ingvild: but booby?
Ingvild: Boobs are booby?
Sarah: But I was sitting here, and there are right here and I was just struck by how much boob there is.
Sarah: I don't know what I am talking about anymore.