May 2012
2 tags
I was reading Clients from Hell when my mom asks...
Mom: Sarah, I can't find spotify, did Philip delete it?
Me: *looks at screen* He deleted it off his dock, yeah.
Mom:
Me:
Mom: Where is it then?
Me: ........It's in applications.
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Mom: Bookmarks?
Me: God, no, stop, just don't touch anything.
Please Tell Me Someone Else Has Made This Joke...
xcgirl08:
THE ONLY ELEMENT ASAMI SATO BENDS…
…IS THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
4 tags
Friend: Hey, you want to go to the theme park with me on Monday?
Me: Aw, I'd love to, but I need to save money.
Friend: But you're going to work all summer and then you're moving away!
Me: You're making me feel guilty. OKAY.
1 tag
the common sense guide to surviving the zombie...
gyzym:
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
IN THE EVENT OF AN...
3 tags
Saras: I have never exaggerated in my entire life.
Me: *tears of laughter*
Saras: Okay maybe that was exaggerating a little bit.
1 tag
Watchtheoneandonlymemily:
rosiebeck:
This is the best video in existence. Your argument is invalid.
i’ve reblogged this like 5 times in 24 hours. it just keeps showing up on my dashboard. and guess what? i honestly regret nothing.
This man. Gosh. Love him.
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Saras: When I move to Scotland I am doing to dump you.
Me: You can't dump me.
Saras: I am going to find a friend who doesn't play video games when she is talking to me and then I am going to bond the hell out of our friendship.
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Sarah is losing her mind.
Sarah: Sometimes I just notice how booby my boobs are.
Sarah: Like..
Sarah: so much boob.
Ingvild: ...
Ingvild: what
Ingvild: : even'
Sarah: They're right there.
Sarah: Being booby.
Sarah: And I'm just....what are you doing, boobs?
Ingvild: I don't even know what is going on right now
Ingvild: You're describing your boobs
Ingvild: as booby...
Ingvild: You just made boob an adjective.
Ingvild: How does that even happen
Sarah: Boobs.
Ingvild: Only in Sarah land
Ingvild: Boobs are great and all
Ingvild: but booby?
Ingvild: Boobs are booby?
Sarah: But I was sitting here, and there are right here and I was just struck by how much boob there is.
Sarah: I don't know what I am talking about anymore.
4 tags
Me: OH NO THESE COOKIES ARE SO TERRIBLE.
*The next day*
Mom: They are raving about the cookies at work.
Me:
Mom: They really loved it, and they're wondering if you could send the recipe to us.
Me:
Mom:
Me: But the cookies were a disaster.
Voice in the background: THEY ARE THE BEST COOKIES I HAVE EVER TASTED.
Me: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.
2 tags
Sarah is losing her mind.
Sarah: Sometimes I just notice how booby my boobs are.
Sarah: Like..
Sarah: so much boob.
Ingvild: ...
Ingvild: what
Ingvild: : even'
Sarah: They're right there.
Sarah: Being booby.
Sarah: And I'm just....what are you doing, boobs?
Ingvild: I don't even know what is going on right now
Ingvild: You're describing your boobs
Ingvild: as booby...
Ingvild: You just made boob an adjective.
Ingvild: How does that even happen
Sarah: Boobs.
Ingvild: Only in Sarah land
Ingvild: Boobs are great and all
Ingvild: but booby?
Ingvild: Boobs are booby?
Sarah: But I was sitting here, and there are right here and I was just struck by how much boob there is.
Sarah: I don't know what I am talking about anymore.
2 tags
Sarah is losing her mind.
Sarah: Sometimes I just notice how booby my boobs are.
Sarah: Like..
Sarah: so much boob.
Ingvild: ...
Ingvild: what
Ingvild: : even'
Sarah: They're right there.
Sarah: Being booby.
Sarah: And I'm just....what are you doing, boobs?
Ingvild: I don't even know what is going on right now
Ingvild: You're describing your boobs
Ingvild: as booby...
Ingvild: You just made boob an adjective.
Ingvild: How does that even happen
Sarah: Boobs.
Ingvild: Only in Sarah land
Ingvild: Boobs are great and all
Ingvild: but booby?
Ingvild: Boobs are booby?
Sarah: But I was sitting here, and there are right here and I was just struck by how much boob there is.
Sarah: I don't know what I am talking about anymore.
4 tags
I seem to have finished The Fault in Our Stars by...
I think I have been crying for three hours straight.
When Ingvild asked me what I thought, I wrote I think it’s one of the best, most moving novels I have ever read, and at the same time I wish I had never read it, because my heart is breaking. And it really is. It is aching and hurting, and I want it to stop.
[[MORE]]
Something that strikes me when I think about this novel, and about...
1 tag
There is a tab on my computer open that I did not...
Lists of awards received by Leaonardo DiCaprio.
I did not open that tab.
What?
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Mom: What was it called?
Me: Search for We have a Cost.
Mom: *types* I can't find it.
Brother: Coooooost
Mom: Okay, coost.
Me: ...It's pronounced COST but okay.
Mom: I can't find it.
4 tags
Mom: Oh no! (upon seeing a Bayen-München miss a penalty)
Me: You don't even care who wins!
Mom: But they've done so well!
Me: Have you even seen a game before this one?
Mom: No... But still!
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Me: "They told me Edward was not dead; But they deceived me.... They took him for a cucumber....'" I don't get it! What does it mean?
Brother: It makes sense.
Mom: What does it mean then?
Brother: It makes sense. They took him for a cucumber.
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Brother: It makes sense.
The family is watching the Champions League final...
Me: So, the red ones are the germans? And the blue ones are Chelsea? And you're rooting for..
Brother: We're rooting for the red ones, Bayen-München.
Mom: Wait, why are we rooting for Bayen-München?
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vikingsirl:
Ingvild: I left a heartfelt comment on your page. Ingvild: Basically the definition of our friendship Ingvild: I put my whole heart into it Ingvild: teared up a little Ingvild: I hope you like it
1 tag
That awkward moment when you arrive home to find a...
And then you realize you probably read and watch too much science-fiction. Then you laugh because you love your mind.
Me: Goin' out for pizza later
Me: UGH NO
Me: THIS MEANS I HAVE TO SHOWER AND ACT LIKE A HUMAN BEING
Me: But... pizza.
Sarah: Why not just bring the pizza home like lazy people.
Me: Because the whole point is going out and hanging with peeps from mah class
Sarah: But eurgh, people
Me: Tell me about it
Sarah: On the other side...pizza
Me: sobs
2 tags
EVER SINGLE EPISODE x 5
*custom worker finds food in a bag*
Custom-worker: Did you know this was in the bag?
Passenger: Yes.
Custom-worker: Yes? Then why did you not declare it?
Passenger: I didn't know it was food.
Custom-worker: Do you eat it?
Passenger: Yes.
Custom-worker: Then it's food.
6 tags
Last night, in my feverish delirious state, I...
Which means that in little over a week I will be playing Super Mario like a hipster.
stfuconservatives:
queernonymoose:
areyoutryingtodeduceme:
strangersatthemall:doctor-john:
So does that mean if you ship Tony/Steve/Bruce as an OT3 it can be called the Stark Spangled Banner?
OH MY GOD.
SCREAMING
….I like this.
I… did not mean to post this on STFU. Um, Captain America, that’s related to politics, right? Tony Stark at the 1% or something or other. Science.
...
Me: ... Well I got it from the fandom, okay?
My Sister: And if the fandom jumped off a bridge? Would you jump too?
Me: Sarah, you don't understand. If the fandom jumped off a bridge, it's because there's a ship underneath.
